004 - There's an Octopus on Your Head
01-16-2014, 12:31 AM
Post: #11
RE: 004 - There's an Octopus on Your Head
I just thought of who you guys remind me of, not in content but in sound. Both of you crack me up when you are both laughing at the same time, as it seems so genuine and silly. I am not sure if either of you have ever heard David Arquette crack up when he is on a show like Howard Stern's, but one of you guys laughs exactly like him, and I think it is Carson. And Brett vocally sounds very much like one of my favorite radio broadcasters of all time, the great Ron Bennington.


whippoorwill - I noticed you have experience with TPP. From 1 to 10, how bad does it get? Will I lose my job because I can't get out of bed Lol I was afraid to start it because my wife's family was staying with us for 6 weeks, but now seems like a good time because they are gone. But I am still worried about my wife having to raise our daughter alone for 10 weeks while I weep in the closet
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01-16-2014, 11:24 AM
Post: #12
RE: 004 - There's an Octopus on Your Head
Lol -- I hear ya, and I completely respect your desire to keep the work you do on yourself from being a burden to your family.

Everyone is unique, so I can't really know how it will go for you. The Presence Process was challenging, but it wasn't incapacitating for me. And it was worth it.

The worst part of it for me was at the beginning when I was fighting the process itself. The notion of completely surrendering to a practice was so frightening to me that a lot of emotional baggage was coming up just from the phrase "the way out is through." I grew up a Preacher's daughter in a pretty fundamentalist Christian context, and I had to deal with religion-wounding before I could even accept the Presence Process as a daily practice. I can say from experience that fearing the Presence Process makes it much, much worse. The phrase "Just do it" from the Nike commercial was helpful. Don't think it; don't fear it; just do it. Smile

Although you wish to minimize the impact that the Presence Process has on your wife, my experience is that the process will certainly involve her, even if she is not actively engaged in it herself. One example of this from my experience: I have certain memories that I've shoved very deep down, and my husband was unconsciously triggering them, and I was unconsciously hurting him in reaction. In one of these cases, I have memories of being whipped with a belt to the point where I couldn't scream anymore. My husband likes to pull down my pants and spank gently as sexy play... He did that once when I was a few weeks into the process, and I just started crying. Then I remembered... Then I saw the pattern... To say that he was aghast to learn that he'd been triggering me for the last 20 years would be understatement of the week. And I was aghast at my reactive behavior -- flat out rebuff and rejection. The really positive thing that came out of it is that he's gone back to playing, and there's no associated emotional reactive pattern. It's just play, and it's a lot more fun. Hopefully the process will bring to light your own reactive patterns, and your relationship will be that much more loving and intimate as a result.

Memories came up when it was relevant as in the example above, but most of the rest of it happened as a physical/energetic process in the body. There were days when it felt like I had a raging fever, but I wasn't actually sick. And a lot of it was just living as I normally do, but with increased awareness of what was going on emotionally and energetically.

There's a principle used in the AYP system called self-pacing where, if things get to be too much, you dial the practices back until you're comfortable again, so that you can keep on going. The Presence Process is definitely something that should be done with gentleness, love, and reverence. If it's too much, dial it down. You will still benefit. Smile


All the best to you!
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01-16-2014, 07:18 PM
Post: #13
RE: 004 - There's an Octopus on Your Head
regedit Wrote:I am not sure if either of you have ever heard David Arquette crack up when he is on a show like Howard Stern's, but one of you guys laughs exactly like him, and I think it is Carson.

Haha yep that's definitely Carson.. Lol
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01-16-2014, 09:59 PM (This post was last modified: 01-16-2014 10:00 PM by regedit.)
Post: #14
RE: 004 - There's an Octopus on Your Head
Wow whippoorwill - I really appreciate you sharing that. I felt so bad reading about the belt whipping memory, and I am sure your screen name was selected for a completely unrelated reason, but it is the first thing that popped in my head. I am so glad to hear of all the benefits that you described. You have pushed me over the edge of procrastination on TPP. Muchas gracias... I think Smile
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01-17-2014, 12:47 AM
Post: #15
RE: 004 - There's an Octopus on Your Head
regedit Wrote:I just thought of who you guys remind me of, not in content but in sound. Both of you crack me up when you are both laughing at the same time, as it seems so genuine and silly. I am not sure if either of you have ever heard David Arquette crack up when he is on a show like Howard Stern's, but one of you guys laughs exactly like him, and I think it is Carson. And Brett vocally sounds very much like one of my favorite radio broadcasters of all time, the great Ron Bennington.

Never heard David Arquette crack up, but lemme tell you... listening to your own voice (and content) on a podcast like this is a serious practice in letting go. Meditate I have to force myself to listen to the podcast in order to figure out if it's release-able and between listening to my own voice and the "hindsight is 20/20 effect" it's pretty challenging to want to release more than 3 mins of material total per week. Doh. Brett however recently took an "accent test" or something and has been identified as having a "universal accent" or "the perfect broadcasting voice" or some shit, so... hahahaha
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01-17-2014, 12:55 AM
Post: #16
RE: 004 - There's an Octopus on Your Head
whippoorwill Wrote:One example of this from my experience: I have certain memories that I've shoved very deep down, and my husband was unconsciously triggering them, and I was unconsciously hurting him in reaction. In one of these cases, I have memories of being whipped with a belt to the point where I couldn't scream anymore. My husband likes to pull down my pants and spank gently as sexy play... He did that once when I was a few weeks into the process, and I just started crying. Then I remembered... Then I saw the pattern... To say that he was aghast to learn that he'd been triggering me for the last 20 years would be understatement of the week. And I was aghast at my reactive behavior -- flat out rebuff and rejection. The really positive thing that came out of it is that he's gone back to playing, and there's no associated emotional reactive pattern. It's just play, and it's a lot more fun.

That's an intense experience! Although I have not done TPP and have only been able to read a few pages of the book, I had a feeling that certain conditioning would come up as "relived" experiences. In an early podcast I suggested this to Brett and he said that this wasn't the intent of the process, but later he had the experience of being a kid, his legs swinging freely in the chair not touching the ground, so I think that the deep conditioning is definitely triggered with TPP (my opinion only). Personally I'm finding that acupuncture is addressing this aspect of unwinding for me, and some of the experiences that have been happening during the acupuncture treatments sound very similar to the experiences others are having with TPP.

snd
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01-17-2014, 11:35 AM
Post: #17
RE: 004 - There's an Octopus on Your Head
Quote:I have to force myself to listen to the podcast in order to figure out if it's release-able and between listening to my own voice and the "hindsight is 20/20 effect" it's pretty challenging to want to release more than 3 mins of material total per week.

You are out of your fucking mind. You sound great.
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01-17-2014, 11:58 AM
Post: #18
RE: 004 - There's an Octopus on Your Head
regedit Wrote:You are out of your fucking mind. You sound great.

Well I certainly agree with the first sentence!! Rimshot

punk
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01-18-2014, 10:55 AM (This post was last modified: 01-18-2014 12:12 PM by whippoorwill.)
Post: #19
RE: 004 - There's an Octopus on Your Head
Hi Regedit!

Quote:I felt so bad reading about the belt whipping memory...

Oh, I'm really sorry about that. That was a containment failure. I didn't mean to make you feel bad, just answer your question about how bad it could get, and that was one of the more intense moments. But obviously the energy from that experience isn't entirely integrated because it spilled into my writing.

Quote:I am sure your screen name was selected for a completely unrelated reason, but it is the first thing that popped in my head.

I totally didn't put that together! Interesting. Whippoorwills are little birds, and one of my fondest memories is lying in bed at night listening to them sing.

Quote:You have pushed me over the edge of procrastination on TPP. Muchas gracias... I think

Haha! You're welcome… I think. Tongue And good luck! Cool

Hi Carson!

Quote:Although I have not done TPP and have only been able to read a few pages of the book...

I'm kind of curious about that. Does the writing get your energy way up? It seems to be that kind of book… I got a fever, flushed skin, and cracked lips just from reading it.

Quote:...I had a feeling that certain conditioning would come up as "relived" experiences. In an early podcast I suggested this to Brett and he said that this wasn't the intent of the process, but later he had the experience of being a kid, his legs swinging freely in the chair not touching the ground, so I think that the deep conditioning is definitely triggered with TPP (my opinion only).

I think that the re-lived experiences happen only if it's directly relevant to discovering the energy pattern. Most of the journey through the presence process wasn't like that for me. In that particular case, I needed to remember the whipping experiences in order to see and break a pattern. Also, being able to tell my husband about the memory helped him mentally understand why I reacted so tepidly (at best) to some of his affection. I think the experience is part of a larger energy pattern that has victimhood at its core. I'm still discovering stuff related to a victim mentality.

But most of it wasn't like that. For example, I learned to recognize the energy that appears before the thought: "I really, really want a glass of wine!!" The Presence Process directs its participants to completely shun alcohol, and I was accustomed to having a glass or two every week. It's not much, but it was enough that I missed the experience of drinking, and when I wanted some wine or beer, I really wanted it! I learned to recognize the energy that led to wanting some alcohol, and I learned to rest my attention on it until it dissipated. I suppose I could go off chocolate for 10 weeks and see if I can detect the energy that leads to "MMMMMM…. CHOCOLATE!!!" But I'm not feeling that ambitious. Biggrin I also got (and still get) the non-emotional streaming tears that Brett described. I got non-symptomatic fevers. My palms would get super hot. (I went out to the garden and got a rock to hold in each hand, and that seemed to help. I also made some stone necklaces, and the cool stones on my chest helped too.) So there was some re-lived trauma, but not much. Most of the "rough stuff" was energetic in nature -- energy moving, hitting blocks, and generating heat.

Quote:Personally I'm finding that acupuncture is addressing this aspect of unwinding for me, and some of the experiences that have been happening during the acupuncture treatments sound very similar to the experiences others are having with TPP.

That's really interesting. I've never had acupuncture.

All the best!!
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01-19-2014, 08:39 PM
Post: #20
RE: 004 - There's an Octopus on Your Head
Hi Whippoorwill!

whippoorwill Wrote:I'm kind of curious about that. Does the writing get your energy way up? It seems to be that kind of book… I got a fever, flushed skin, and cracked lips just from reading it.

It wasn't so much that it got the energy up, it's just that my body or life in one way or another limits how much I can intake (of any "spiritual" book). For example, when I go to sit down and read the book I will literally not be able to focus my eyes on more than one or two sentences... it will be like my eyes can't focus, but it's only on the book. Other times I will just keep getting pulled away from it, by the kids, someone will come into the shop, some crisis will arise, something. That said, there was one sentence that hit me very hard from TPP and it was regarding reacting vs responding. When I read that sentence there was a non-verbal realization that happened and I believe much of the content of the book was "absorbed." Probably total bullshit but that is how it felt anyway.

whippoorwill Wrote:I think that the re-lived experiences happen only if it's directly relevant to discovering the energy pattern.

That makes sense. I wonder if on the second and third time through TPP if this type of experience happens more/less/same?

whippoorwill Wrote:I suppose I could go off chocolate for 10 weeks and see if I can detect the energy that leads to "MMMMMM…. CHOCOLATE!!!" But I'm not feeling that ambitious.

That's how I feel about ganja right now. Bong Xd

horns
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