013 - Death
03-16-2014, 10:46 PM
Post: #1
013 - Death
[Image: 013_image.jpg]

013 - Death
In this week's episode, Carson shares the story of his grandfather's passing, leading to an evaluation of his relationship with his father. Brett recounts losing a feline friend, and describes the experience of the inner deconstruction currently taking place on his path. Other subjects include a look at blame. \m/

Permanent Download Link: http://traffic.libsyn.com/seekanddestroy...-DEATH.mp3

Related Links
How to Die in Oregon: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1715802/
The Tibetan Book of the Dead (Free Download): http://www.holybooks.com/the-tibetan-boo...he-dead-2/

Credits: This podcast uses Floating by Christopher Lloyd Clarke, from www.The-Guided-Meditation-Site.com
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03-24-2014, 11:51 AM
Post: #2
RE: 013 - Death
Interesting podcast as always. First off, I know this was recorded at least several weeks ago, but sorry about Carson's Grandpa and about Big Fry.

I found the discussion on death so interesting. I have gotten to the point where I don't fear death, but I still fear a painful or violent dying process. I also fear leaving my kids and wife too early, or with wasting a life with great opportunities to make some spiritual progress. But otherwise, the fear is gone. There were so many points you guys made during that discussion that definitely resonated with me.
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03-25-2014, 09:01 PM
Post: #3
RE: 013 - Death
(03-24-2014 11:51 AM)regedit Wrote:  Interesting podcast as always. First off, I know this was recorded at least several weeks ago, but sorry about Carson's Grandpa and about Big Fry.

I found the discussion on death so interesting. I have gotten to the point where I don't fear death, but I still fear a painful or violent dying process. I also fear leaving my kids and wife too early, or with wasting a life with great opportunities to make some spiritual progress. But otherwise, the fear is gone. There were so many points you guys made during that discussion that definitely resonated with me.

Thanks regedit.. I sure miss my kitty. Here's a photo of the big guy himself:

[Image: bigfry.jpg]

Glad to hear you dug the podcast. I'd definitely like to look into the emotions surrounding death in a future episode, as I think there's plenty to dig into there both in the outlook on our own death as well as the deaths of others. This episode wasn't the right one for much of that conversation, but it's on my list for a future one.

When I first read "wasting a life with great opportunities to make some spiritual progress" I thought you meant you were concerned with wasting life by trying to make some spiritual progress. Which is a hell of a valid concern as well. I've felt both ways at one time or another, but I think on my best days I feel that both those concerns have missed the point. As the great David Wooderson once said, "you just gotta keep livin, man. L-I-V-I-N." Biggrin
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03-25-2014, 11:59 PM
Post: #4
RE: 013 - Death
(03-25-2014 09:01 PM)brett Wrote:  When I first read "wasting a life with great opportunities to make some spiritual progress" I thought you meant you were concerned with wasting life by trying to make some spiritual progress.

I could only wish my problem was having too much self-discipline.

(03-25-2014 09:01 PM)brett Wrote:  As the great David Wooderson once said, "you just gotta keep livin, man. L-I-V-I-N."

Alright, Alright, Alright. Biggrin
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03-26-2014, 09:54 AM
Post: #5
RE: 013 - Death
(03-24-2014 11:51 AM)regedit Wrote:  Interesting podcast as always. First off, I know this was recorded at least several weeks ago, but sorry about Carson's Grandpa and about Big Fry.

Thanks dude. I went to Calgary this week(end) for the memorial service. Brett and I haven't had a chance to record a podcast since, but this weekend when we do, I hope we can get into "the emotions surrounding death" as Brett mentioned.
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03-26-2014, 10:48 AM
Post: #6
RE: 013 - Death
I loved that both you and your daughter saw your Grandad, so awesome for you to have that closure and knowing that he is indeed in a good place...hugs to you xo
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03-26-2014, 11:06 AM
Post: #7
RE: 013 - Death
Yeah, that really did help with the closure. He's still hanging around actually. Writing this I can feel him directly above my head (which is where I feel "remote connections") and he finds it interesting and awesome that so much growth has been spurred by his passing... it makes him feel less guilty for dying (which he is struggling with because of leaving Grandma behind).
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03-26-2014, 11:17 AM
Post: #8
RE: 013 - Death
So cool...is your Grandma doing alright?
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03-26-2014, 11:21 AM
Post: #9
RE: 013 - Death
She's living from a place of sorrowful acceptance right now. She's lonely, which is to be expected, but she's not ruminating which is good. My dad, aunt and uncle however seem to be resisting this new reality a lot more.

This is what I wrote for the memorial:

This is the first time I’ve ever had to do this, so please forgive me if my content is unconventional or unexpected in anyway… Death is something I have very limited personal experience so, I’m luckily a rookie at this I guess. I’ll try to keep it in “the box.”

I am incredibly fortunate to have had Cliff for a grandpa. Our relationship was so unique and uncustomary that in writing this I’ve had an extremely difficult time describing it or the impact it has had on my life. We connected on so many levels that speaking of it seems to come out as poetry or metaphor. Perhaps that’s because Grandpa was truly the stuff of legends.

When I found out that he had passed my immediate thoughts and feelings were centered around Grandma. Losing a partner of 60 years is something I can’t, and don’t want to fathom. But in talking to her and having a good cry together the healing process seemed to be set in motion, at least for me. She seemed to be in a place of sorrowful acceptance, which helped to put things in perspective for me. Yes, death and the loss of someone is always sad and unwanted. But, we do have a choice in how we move forward. We can choose to resist this new reality and suffer because of it, or we can learn to move forward with grace, focusing on the legacy left behind and the memories we’ve shared together.

At first, my conditioned reaction was to take a perspective in which dwelling in the suffering seemed noble. Grandpa has passed and I loved him immensely, therefor I should suffer, and continue to suffer. But from an expanded, less involved perspective, a life lived in rumination benefits no one, so I choose to cherish his memory and celebrate his journey by living a heart-oriented, family-centered life, just like he did.

After talking with Grandma and beginning to heal, I felt like I could start to explore who and what Grandpa was in relation to me. To me, Grandpa was a walking example of unconditional love and compassion. He didn’t always approve of my choices, but he always accepted that my path was my path and he was always there for me as a friend, a confidant and a loving “advisor.”

Grandpa was never too busy or too ambivalent to enlighten me with his perspective, nor was he ever too busy or uninterested to hear mine. Our lengthy and usually controversial discussions (aka dialectic conversations, aka heated arguments) were both the fuel and the ignition for the always blazing bonfire that was our relationship. He was never one to let a half-brained statement escape analysis but he was also ever-willing to investigate a new perspective or new evidence with an open mind and an open heart. He constantly pushed me to look closer at my beliefs and assumptions and in this we grew into new understandings and realizations together. His, (albeit sometimes reluctant) willingness to reserve judgment and remain objective was an example of his desire to be authentic to his humanity but also indicative of his need to evolve as a human being and deepen his levels of self-understanding.

I wanted to keep this succinct so in closing I just want to say that Grandpa was, and still is, an inspiration to me. He was an example of the kind of friend, husband and father I aspire to be. I hope that my life’s journey can do justice to his legacy.
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03-26-2014, 11:25 AM
Post: #10
RE: 013 - Death
I can't imaging being with someone that long, never mind then losing them, my heart goes out to her, and your memorial is beautiful...
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