003 - Nobody Eats Parsley
03-13-2014, 10:08 AM
Post: #11
RE: 003 - Nobody Eats Parsley
(03-13-2014 09:38 AM)Carlene Wrote:  It's not far off the turnarounds at all. It's a side-dish to the turnaround:) I just love it when I notice that really visceral reaction when I think you think something about me. In those moments, I can't do The Work from a deep place. It might be the octopus on my head:)

Yeah, it's really hard to do The Work when there is a cellular reaction happening... The Work (in my opinion) requires "space" from ourselves which is why I've always thought that a meditation component prior to doing The Work would have been a helpful step in the process.

(03-13-2014 09:38 AM)Carlene Wrote:  I agree about comedians being spiritual leaders! Louis CK is one of my heroes! He's incredibly present live. I admire that vulnerability so much. When I listen to Duncan Trussel's podcast I have breakthrough experiences sometimes. I cry frequently, despite the comedy. It's weird.

Duncan is actually the first person we are going to ask to be on the podcast as a guest. Just got to hammer out the technical details and then we'll send him an invite.

(03-13-2014 09:38 AM)Carlene Wrote:  I do get close to matricide with my mother. She triggers me daily and it takes all of my focus to respond, not react. This is very hard on my ego that wants to be the enlightened one. I "should" be able to work well with anyone! Lol.

Gawd do I ever recognize myself in that. Bang

(03-13-2014 09:38 AM)Carlene Wrote:  For some reason she brings out the worst in me. But I am stubborn and I want to heal that wound if it goddamn kills me!! Lmao.

I'm still struggling with finding the desire to work things out with my parents. They just soooo obviously don't care about me and resent me that it's easy for me to just say "fuck it." Obviously I won't be able to do that forever, but I think I'm going to let it come up when it does on it's own instead of going looking for opportunities... at least right now.

(03-13-2014 09:38 AM)Carlene Wrote:  I have been looking for other outlets for work recently because of this actually. Because I wonder if I do this to fuel or heal my wounds sometimes...don't know, don't know, don't know...

Reminds me of Brett's "target practice." Biggrin

snd
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03-13-2014, 10:11 AM
Post: #12
RE: 003 - Nobody Eats Parsley
"I haven't really talked to my mom (or dad) since September last year when I last went to Calgary but I'm going there next week for my Grandpa's wake and will have to see them.... I've been dealing with feelings of fear and dread and have caught myself projecting possible interactions with them since the moment I found out my Grandpa died... not particularly excited about seeing them again."

I was really sorry to hear about your Grandpa. I know he meant a lot to you.
I'm not caught up on the podcast yet and I'm OCD about listening start to finish so I'm not sure what "work" you have done on your mom, but it could be the key to your "sorry" difficulties. I know that my mom is the hardest person for me to apologize to because it feels like I'm right and she's crazy. I really believe if I undo my illusions about her though, then it will get easier with my husband, which is where it matters most for me. I'd love to really challenge you to do The Work on that last situation with your mom, by writing a full judge-your-neighbour worksheet and working the whole thing. I know time is tight for you, but a few hours on that may help greatly to see your parents with a full, open heart again. Or not. But if you want a tough facilitator who won't let you get away with anything, I'm here:) I think we all need that when it comes to parent wounds!
Lots of Hugs!
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03-13-2014, 01:47 PM
Post: #13
RE: 003 - Nobody Eats Parsley
Yay Duncan!!! I think you guys would love Aubrey Marcus too. They are great podcasters and Aubrey is a very experienced psychonaut who is actually the first person I heard speak about Ayuhuasca (sp?). He's done several trips down to Peru to seek and destroy his ego:) how do you guys record over a distance? It sounds so perfect! Once you invite him you should have your listeners tweet him. That's how most people end up doing peoples podcasts. People tweet them into submission;)

Also, when is the first Seek and Destroy psychedelic field trip happening? I remember saying to you before that I think we need locally- led ceremonies with light workers there to guide people and manage set and setting. I think that's even truer now. Let's get the Destroyers together! (Food for thought)
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03-13-2014, 02:08 PM
Post: #14
RE: 003 - Nobody Eats Parsley
"....because it feels like I'm right and she's crazy."

Fucking bingo. I'm right and she's crazy. No, but seriously, I'm right and she's crazy! Xd Doh

Here's my judge your neighbor worksheet on my mom:

I am hurt/angry/disappointed in my Mom/Dad because they don't accept me for who I am and nothing I ever do is good enough to make them proud of me. (I'm crying already). Not sure I should do this right now as I'm currently manning the skate shop and a crying barrista is a bummer. Tongue

I want my Mom/Dad to care about how I am doing and to love me no matter what I do.

Mom/Dad should put their religious beliefs aside so that we can connect in the moment without them wanting/needing for me to be different.

I need Mom/Dad to stop chastising me and tell me that they love me no matter what.

(I had to stop there as I had too many customers to be that emotional... I'm now at the rail yard, which is not any better an environment to be emotional in but I find the energy here much more "grounding" and I don't seem to get as twisted up here. Biggest issue at the rail yard is a lack of uninterrupted time Tongue)

My parents are condescending, blind, hurtful, arrogant, stupid assholes. Shock

I don't ever want to experience feelings of being an unloved, unwanted, disappointing, unworthy outcast.

Ugly.
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03-13-2014, 08:35 PM
Post: #15
RE: 003 - Nobody Eats Parsley
(03-13-2014 01:47 PM)Carlene Wrote:  Yay Duncan!!! I think you guys would love Aubrey Marcus too. They are great podcasters and Aubrey is a very experienced psychonaut who is actually the first person I heard speak about Ayuhuasca (sp?). He's done several trips down to Peru to seek and destroy his ego:) how do you guys record over a distance? It sounds so perfect! Once you invite him you should have your listeners tweet him. That's how most people end up doing peoples podcasts. People tweet them into submission;)

Hi Carlene,

Thanks for the heads up on Aubrey Marcus, I hadn't heard of him but am gonna check out his podcast for sure. And also for the tip on "tweeting into submission". That will definitely come in handy moving forward with potential guests. And now that we've ran our time out in the "New and Noteworthy" section on iTunes, we need all the marketing help we can get. Xd

In regards to the recording process, both Carson and I record our own vocals and then sync them in post-production. This gives us two clean signals instead of one good and one shitty one. We're both such perfectionists when it comes to sound quality that we couldn't have it any other way, and I'm stoked to hear it makes a difference for those listening as well. Smile
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03-14-2014, 10:59 AM
Post: #16
RE: 003 - Nobody Eats Parsley
(03-13-2014 01:47 PM)Carlene Wrote:  Yay Duncan!!! I think you guys would love Aubrey Marcus too. They are great podcasters and Aubrey is a very experienced psychonaut who is actually the first person I heard speak about Ayuhuasca (sp?). He's done several trips down to Peru to seek and destroy his ego:)

Sweet! I'll totally check Aubrey out... thanks for the heads up!

(it's spelled "ayahausca") Tongue

(03-13-2014 01:47 PM)Carlene Wrote:  Also, when is the first Seek and Destroy psychedelic field trip happening? I remember saying to you before that I think we need locally- led ceremonies with light workers there to guide people and manage set and setting. I think that's even truer now. Let's get the Destroyers together! (Food for thought)

Skype mushroom trip? Hahaha, that was the first thing that came to mind when I read this. Would be neat to set up a room in each of our respective homes, open up a multi-person skype call with anyone who wants to participate, and then we can all work through our mushroom trips together.

Would be neat to set up a destination meetup too I think. Florida is probably nice this time of year eh Brett? Biggrin

Love,
Carson horns
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03-14-2014, 12:27 PM
Post: #17
RE: 003 - Nobody Eats Parsley
First off, Welcome Charlene!! Cool

(03-13-2014 02:08 PM)CarsonZi Wrote:  Here's my judge your neighbor worksheet on my mom:

I am hurt/angry/disappointed in my Mom/Dad because they don't accept me for who I am and nothing I ever do is good enough to make them proud of me. (I'm crying already). Not sure I should do this right now as I'm currently manning the skate shop and a crying barrista is a bummer. Tongue

I want my Mom/Dad to care about how I am doing and to love me no matter what I do.

Mom/Dad should put their religious beliefs aside so that we can connect in the moment without them wanting/needing for me to be different.

Thanks for the raw honesty as always Carson horns.

I have some very mild drama from my Mom right now, and when reading your post it made me consider that she may feel exactly like you. I believe she is the one wanting the close authentic and unconditional relationship with me, and I am always polite but there is something that prevents me from getting too close to her. Maybe she dropped me on my head as an infant and the Presence Process will work that out in the next 9 weeks. Thanks butterfingers Biggrin. I guess your post made me consider that my parents can also be the ones craving unconditional acceptance, at least it seems that way with my Mom right now.
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03-14-2014, 12:34 PM
Post: #18
RE: 003 - Nobody Eats Parsley
(03-14-2014 10:59 AM)CarsonZi Wrote:  Would be neat to set up a destination meetup too I think. Florida is probably nice this time of year eh Brett? Biggrin

Nah it's terrible.. 73F, clear blue skies, etc. Tongue

Seek and Destroy Spring Break Retreat March 2015? metal
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03-14-2014, 01:43 PM
Post: #19
RE: 003 - Nobody Eats Parsley
(03-14-2014 12:27 PM)regedit Wrote:  I have some very mild drama from my Mom right now, and when reading your post it made me consider that she may feel exactly like you. I believe she is the one wanting the close authentic and unconditional relationship with me, and I am always polite but there is something that prevents me from getting too close to her. Maybe she dropped me on my head as an infant and the Presence Process will work that out in the next 9 weeks. Thanks butterfingers Biggrin. I guess your post made me consider that my parents can also be the ones craving unconditional acceptance, at least it seems that way with my Mom right now.

Wow, this just smacked me right in the face.. For most of my life, I've had the same relationship with my mother (although in recent years I've opened up to her quite a bit). And with my Dad, I have the relationship everyone else is talking about.

So the trip of the whole thing is, when we can't get it, we want it, and when we get it, we don't want it. Once again, two sides of the same coin. Unbelievable. Xd

I think this may just be the tip of the iceberg on this. Interested to see others thoughts on it.
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03-14-2014, 04:33 PM
Post: #20
RE: 003 - Nobody Eats Parsley
(03-13-2014 02:08 PM)CarsonZi Wrote:  "....because it feels like I'm right and she's crazy."

Fucking bingo. I'm right and she's crazy. No, but seriously, I'm right and she's crazy! Xd Doh

Here's my judge your neighbor worksheet on my mom:

I am hurt/angry/disappointed in my Mom/Dad because they don't accept me for who I am and nothing I ever do is good enough to make them proud of me. (I'm crying already). Not sure I should do this right now as I'm currently manning the skate shop and a crying barrista is a bummer. Tongue

I want my Mom/Dad to care about how I am doing and to love me no matter what I do.

Mom/Dad should put their religious beliefs aside so that we can connect in the moment without them wanting/needing for me to be different.

I need Mom/Dad to stop chastising me and tell me that they love me no matter what.

(I had to stop there as I had too many customers to be that emotional... I'm now at the rail yard, which is not any better an environment to be emotional in but I find the energy here much more "grounding" and I don't seem to get as twisted up here. Biggest issue at the rail yard is a lack of uninterrupted time Tongue)

My parents are condescending, blind, hurtful, arrogant, stupid assholes. Shock

I don't ever want to experience feelings of being an unloved, unwanted, disappointing, unworthy outcast.

Ugly.

Beautiful.
Thank you so much for writing this Carson. It's clear and laser and the fact you wrote this during work is amazing.

I'm wondering if you're open to doing it a bit differently? At the school, Katie has people write the sheets a bit different now. She invites you to write it about a specific situation. Like the moment you read her email. That 5 minute period.

So it ends up being, In this situation, I am indignant, irate, frustrated with my mom because she thinks should be able to buy my time.

The reason for doing it this way is that your mind has so much evidence that you are right in your first sheet. You have years of evidence and it would be hard to for your ego to let the questions penetrate an entire life story or relationship dynamic. By putting it into a very small window, we can get laser focused on reactions and the truth of what is going on. I love sharing this method with people because it is so effective.

(03-14-2014 12:34 PM)brett Wrote:  
(03-14-2014 10:59 AM)CarsonZi Wrote:  Would be neat to set up a destination meetup too I think. Florida is probably nice this time of year eh Brett? Biggrin

Nah it's terrible.. 73F, clear blue skies, etc. Tongue

Seek and Destroy Spring Break Retreat March 2015? metal

Spring Break! Spring Break! Hell yeah, Florida in March! An escape from the snow and the constraints of my ego sounds heavenly!!

(03-13-2014 08:35 PM)brett Wrote:  
(03-13-2014 01:47 PM)Carlene Wrote:  Yay Duncan!!! I think you guys would love Aubrey Marcus too. They are great podcasters and Aubrey is a very experienced psychonaut who is actually the first person I heard speak about Ayuhuasca (sp?). He's done several trips down to Peru to seek and destroy his ego:) how do you guys record over a distance? It sounds so perfect! Once you invite him you should have your listeners tweet him. That's how most people end up doing peoples podcasts. People tweet them into submission;)

Hi Carlene,

Thanks for the heads up on Aubrey Marcus, I hadn't heard of him but am gonna check out his podcast for sure. And also for the tip on "tweeting into submission". That will definitely come in handy moving forward with potential guests. And now that we've ran our time out in the "New and Noteworthy" section on iTunes, we need all the marketing help we can get. Xd

In regards to the recording process, both Carson and I record our own vocals and then sync them in post-production. This gives us two clean signals instead of one good and one shitty one. We're both such perfectionists when it comes to sound quality that we couldn't have it any other way, and I'm stoked to hear it makes a difference for those listening as well. Smile

(03-14-2014 04:33 PM)Carlene Wrote:  
(03-13-2014 02:08 PM)CarsonZi Wrote:  "....because it feels like I'm right and she's crazy."

Fucking bingo. I'm right and she's crazy. No, but seriously, I'm right and she's crazy! Xd Doh

Here's my judge your neighbor worksheet on my mom:

I am hurt/angry/disappointed in my Mom/Dad because they don't accept me for who I am and nothing I ever do is good enough to make them proud of me. (I'm crying already). Not sure I should do this right now as I'm currently manning the skate shop and a crying barrista is a bummer. Tongue

I want my Mom/Dad to care about how I am doing and to love me no matter what I do.

Mom/Dad should put their religious beliefs aside so that we can connect in the moment without them wanting/needing for me to be different.

I need Mom/Dad to stop chastising me and tell me that they love me no matter what.

(I had to stop there as I had too many customers to be that emotional... I'm now at the rail yard, which is not any better an environment to be emotional in but I find the energy here much more "grounding" and I don't seem to get as twisted up here. Biggest issue at the rail yard is a lack of uninterrupted time Tongue)

My parents are condescending, blind, hurtful, arrogant, stupid assholes. Shock

I don't ever want to experience feelings of being an unloved, unwanted, disappointing, unworthy outcast.

Ugly.

Beautiful.
Thank you so much for writing this Carson. It's clear and laser and the fact you wrote this during work is amazing.

I'm wondering if you're open to doing it a bit differently? At the school, Katie has people write the sheets a bit different now. She invites you to write it about a specific situation. Like the moment you read her email. That 5 minute period.

So it ends up being, In this situation, I am indignant, irate, frustrated with my mom because she thinks should be able to buy my time.

The reason for doing it this way is that your mind has so much evidence that you are right in your first sheet. You have years of evidence and it would be hard to for your ego to let the questions penetrate an entire life story or relationship dynamic. By putting it into a very small window, we can get laser focused on reactions and the truth of what is going on. I love sharing this method with people because it is so effective.

(03-14-2014 12:34 PM)brett Wrote:  
(03-14-2014 10:59 AM)CarsonZi Wrote:  Would be neat to set up a destination meetup too I think. Florida is probably nice this time of year eh Brett? Biggrin

Nah it's terrible.. 73F, clear blue skies, etc. Tongue

Seek and Destroy Spring Break Retreat March 2015? metal

Spring Break! Spring Break! Hell yeah, Florida in March! An escape from the snow and the constraints of my ego sounds heavenly!!

(03-13-2014 08:35 PM)brett Wrote:  
(03-13-2014 01:47 PM)Carlene Wrote:  Yay Duncan!!! I think you guys would love Aubrey Marcus too. They are great podcasters and Aubrey is a very experienced psychonaut who is actually the first person I heard speak about Ayuhuasca (sp?). He's done several trips down to Peru to seek and destroy his ego:) how do you guys record over a distance? It sounds so perfect! Once you invite him you should have your listeners tweet him. That's how most people end up doing peoples podcasts. People tweet them into submission;)

Hi Carlene,

Thanks for the heads up on Aubrey Marcus, I hadn't heard of him but am gonna check out his podcast for sure. And also for the tip on "tweeting into submission". That will definitely come in handy moving forward with potential guests. And now that we've ran our time out in the "New and Noteworthy" section on iTunes, we need all the marketing help we can get. Xd

In regards to the recording process, both Carson and I record our own vocals and then sync them in post-production. This gives us two clean signals instead of one good and one shitty one. We're both such perfectionists when it comes to sound quality that we couldn't have it any other way, and I'm stoked to hear it makes a difference for those listening as well. Smile

Another way to get on the charts is to ask all if your listeners to subscribe, rate and comment on the podcast in iTunes. Not sure if you do that in later podcasts, because I'm on Ep 4:)
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